The End
by Lord-Deos
Summary: Years have passed since their boyhood adventures. As feelings are found, worlds turned upside down and the lives of everyone put on the line, will the teenagers of South Park be able to save everything they hold dear? Or is this The End? S/K Slash
1. LongAss Day

UPDATE: I'm going through this story, fixing a few things. Please feel free to re-read this story and review. (Feb 25, 2011)

AN: Sigh… Here I go again, starting up what will surely be another project that will sooner or later be put to the back burner for god knows how long… I'm terrible, but I can't help it, my mind must have its words written, and I am but a tool…

Warning: Slash, Violence, Crude Humor. Don't like it? I don't care. Just don't flame me, we be cool. But if you do, well just be prepared to face my wrath! Oh and creative criticism is appreciated.

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine.

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**The End**

Chapter 1: Long-Ass Day

"I can't freaking believe it…"

An overweight sixteen year old said as he entered his 11th grade classroom for the first time. Behind him, his three friends stood (if you could call them that, they were more like three boys who were stuck with a fat shadow), trying to get in the classroom too. Unfortunately, the fat boy was so large, they couldn't even see past him.

"What the fuck is it now, fatass?" asked the black-haired one, standing on tiptoes to try and see over the pudgy roadblock.

"Stanley, don't swear. Eric, move outta the doorway, no one else can get past you. Although I believed it to be impossible, it would seem you have gotten even fatter." A voice called out from within the classroom, southern accent chilling the other three boys to the bone.

"Oh... God… No…" Stanley Marsh muttered to himself as Eric Cartman moved out of the doorway to reveal none other then Mrs. Garrison sitting at his desk at the front of the room.

"This can't be happening… It just can't..." said Stan's best friend, the red-headed Kyle Broflovski. He shook his head in disbelief as he spoke, green eyes wide and unbelieving.

A muffled "Fuck!" was heard from the fourth boy, blonde Kenny McCormick, who still somehow was wearing the orange parka he'd had since he was eight.

The boys shuffled in robotically, disbelief still overriding their natural thought processes, although not even that could stop Cartman from muttering a quiet "Ey! I'm big-boned…"

Mrs. Garrison stood and addressed the class. "Welcome, children, to the eleventh grade. We're gonna have some fun together, won't we Mrs. Hat?"

"Oh Sweet Jesus…"

"Be quiet Stanley." But sure enough, on Mrs. Garrison's left hand was Mr. Hat the puppet. Only now, he had a glued-on dress and blond wig combo that quite frankly made him look like a terrible tranny. And so came to be, the existence of Mrs. Hat.

"Now class, we have a lot to learn today."

"Uhh… Mrs. Garrison?" Kyle asked, raising his hand.

"Yes Kyle?" She replied to his student.

"What… Are you doing here? I thought you still taught the 4th grade, back at the elementary school."

"Well…" He started, sitting down at her desk, "The high school went bankrupt about two and a half hours ago, and the school board has had the elementary school, who they believe to be over funded and overstaffed, supply the money and the teachers to keep this crap hole going. So here I am, teaching you all again." She finished with a smile.

She blinked.

"Wait a minute…" He muttered to himself, smile fading. Mrs. Garrison looked around the classroom. Then she pulled out the attendance sheet, and looked at it for a few moments before looking back up at the class. "Well what the hell? I'm teaching the exact same group of little retards again!"

And sure enough, she was. From Token Black to Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens to Butters Stotch, their entire fourth grade class was back together again. Not that they had lost touch, but they had never all been in the same room since elementary graduation, thanks in no little part to Cartman and that whole 4th Reich thing he started back in Grade 6.

"Oh well, lets begin. Since this is English class…"

"Holy Freaking Shit, dudes. How the hell could this have happened?" Stan asked his three friends as they walked to their lockers after the unholy hell that was Mrs. Garrison's class had finished.

"I wish I knew, Stan, but I have no clue." Kyle replied.

"Heheheh." Cartman laughed, "So the Jew-boy doesn't know everything, does he? Ahahaha!"

"Aww shut up, fatass." Stan said to the walking boulder to his left. "And no!" Stan cut him off as he opened his three-chinned mouth to say something. "You are not big boned!"

"Aww… I hate you guys…" Cartman mumbled, kicking a random juice box across the hall.

"What do we got next?" mumbled out Kenny from behind his hood.

"Uh… Math. Just great." Kyle replied, checking his schedule. All four boys had all the same classes this year, oddly enough.

"Hehe. Remember last year, when you two tripped in this hallway, and your face ended up in Stan's ass, Kyle?" Kenny reminisced randomly.

"Oh God…" Stan groaned, covering his face with his hand. Kyle just blushed and mumbled something incoherent.

"What was that Kyle?" Cartman jeered at the red-faced Jew. "Just proclaim your undying love to Stan? Hoping to go have a faggy fun time in the bathroom before class?"

"Hey fuck you, fatass!" Stan charged to Kyle's rescue.

"Stanley! Language!" shouted Mrs. Garrison, rushing past them.

Stan grunted at him. He had really stopped caring what teachers had to say, especially this one. The boys got to their lockers, which were all next to one another. Cartman's on the far left, then Kenny's, Stan's, and finally Kyle's. Cartman's locker was full of candy bar wrappers and Cheesy Poof bags. Kenny's was nearly empty. Stan's was completely disorganized and Kyle's was, unsurprisingly, completely tidy. It might have even been alphabetized.

The boys each went through their locker routine. Cartman grabbed a bag of Cheesy Poofs and proceeded to chow down. Kenny just mumbled to himself, and closed it without taking anything out. Stan shoved his English book somewhere it would fit, and looked for where he had stowed his math book. Kyle, still blushing, neatly placed his book between his Biology and History books, grabbed his math ones, and the pulled something small out of his locker and proceeded to look at it.

Stan looked over at his best friend and noticed what he was doing. "You and that thing again, huh? Will you ever tell us whats in that? You've had it for like years now, and always look at it at the oddest times."

Kyle looked at Stan, almost startled, then shoved the nondescript box into his locker and closed it. "Sorry Stan. It's personal." He glanced at his black haired friend apologetically, his blush, which had receded, showing itself again.

"Forget it; it's probably some Jew-Boy thing. Probably counting his Jew gold, make sure none of the other Jews stole some to add to their Jew gold." Cartman balled up the empty bag he had in his hands, threw it into his locker, and then shut the door with a belch.

"Gross dude!" Kenny shouted, closing his parka as far as it would go. "What died in your throat? Shit! … Hehe, probably exactly that! Hehehe!" Kenny then proceeded to laugh hysterically.

"That's right, poor boy, laugh it up. Will you be laughing when I'm home later, watching my big-screen TV, playing on my Game Sphere 5X?" Cartman taunted.

"Yeah! I'll be laughing it up as you mom sucks me off in the next room!" Kenny started laughing like a maniac, followed by the other two boys.

"Ahh… Gross, yet strangely satisfying. Well, come on." Stan said as he closed his locker door, having finally managed to find his book. The four boys set off to Math this time, with Cartman's continued mumbles of hate, revenge and 'knowing Stan would be satisfied picturing Kenny naked' following them as they go.

"What a morning, though. First, we're subjected to the torture of Mrs. Garrison for the first time in seven years, then Math!" Kyle sighed.

"Yeah, totally lame," replied his black haired best friend. "D'you know when he... She? ... When Garrison went BACK to being a woman? Last I heard he was a he again." The only reply he received were three identical shrugs, causing him to forget the random thought.

"But look on the bright side guys; at least it can't get any worse!" The redhead said as he opened the door to the Math classroom. All four boys yet again stopped dead in their tracks, wide-eyed.

"You just had to say it… Didn't you, Jew-boy? Didn't you? God, I hate you guys… So. So much..." Cartman said as he looked on in horror at the inside of the classroom.

"Boys, stop blocking the damn doorway, Mrs. Hat and I have to teach Math now!" shouted Mrs. Garrison from within.

"Fuck," came the hood muffled cry of Kenny.

"You said it dude. This is gonna be one long-ass day…" Stan said, as the four boys prepared themselves for what would surely be the first in a long line of long-ass days.

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AN: There you have it. I'll do my best to keep this going as much as I can. Enjoy!

LD


	2. A Deal with the Devil

AN: I'm on a roll, at the moment!

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**The End**

Chapter 2: A Deal with the Devil

"Holy Freaking Hell, dudes…" Stan said as they disembarked the bus at their stop.

"That has to have been the most retarded day ever!" Cartman shouted as the boys started walking home. "First, Mrs. Garrison. Next, Mrs. Garrison again. Then again and again, all god damn day! It's fucking fourth grade all over again! This fucking sucks!"

"For once, fatass, I have to agree with you." Kyle said, sounding completely beat.

No one spoke again until after Cartman and Kenny had left the small group, separately headed for home.

"Crazy day, huh?" Stan asked his best friend, breaking the comfortable silence only two bestest friends could have.

"Yeah, totally," the redhead replied. "Although, it does bring back some fond memories from the past."

"Such as?"

"Well, all our adventures as kids. Remember that Christmas we went to Canada? Or the one in Iraq?" Kyle asked, turning to Stan with a smile on his face.

"Heh, yeah. Those were kinda fun." Stan said, far off look in his eyes.

"And Willzyx! Remember him Stan? Man, I hope he's doing alright on the Moon…" Kyle said, looking to the sky.

"He's probably fine, with his family." The black haired boy assured, secret smile on his face as he stared unabashed at his cute best friend. He shook his head. He had to stop it with that...

"Oh, and all our old friends! Towelie, Mr. Hankey. And our teachers! Miss Choksondik, Mr. Slave… Ch-Chef…" Kyle stopped, looking down at his shoes.

"Aww dude…" Stan sighed, moving closer to his friend. "He was a good friend. No matter what happened at the end…"

"I… I know that, but that… That fruity little club!" Kyle couldn't continue. He had never truly gotten over what had happened to Chef, how that club turned him into a pedophile and then lead to his death.

Stan approached his best friend, and as the shorter boy's shoulders started shaking, the black haired boy pulled his best friend into a hug. "It's ok dude."

"No it's not!" Kyle shouted, pushing on Stan's chest, breaking away from his embrace. "Chef died, and we could have… Could have…"

"Done nothing. We did all we could, Kyle. But we were just kids. What could we have done more? Not a damn thing." And Stan pulled his still crying friend into another hug, one they shared for a while; a lot longer then they should have, being two dudes. But neither cared.

When they did break away, they looked into each others eyes. "You ok, dude?" Stan asked softly.

"Yeah… Thanks, Stan." Kyle replied with a small smile. Stan smiled back.

Neither boy moved for a moment, but then they seemed to move closer to each other. Closer, and closer, until their noses were mere millimeters apart, and then…

"STAAAAAN!"

The boys separated faster then Cartman and health food. They turned and saw Randy Marsh running at them, waving his arms frantically, and shouting his son's name.

"Aww Jesus, not again..." Stan muttered to himself. He looked at his best friend, who looked back at him at that exact moment. They both quickly averted their eyes.

"I uh… Wonder what's up now." Kyle said, looking down, face tinged red.

"Bet it's probably umm… nothing… Nothing at all... Again..." Stan responded, eyes taking in the tree to his right.

"B… Boys…! Come… Quick…! TV…! Bush…! Satan Stan, SATAN!" Randy grabbed his son's shoulders and proceeded to shake him like a British nanny.

"Daa-aaa-aaa-aaad!" Stan tried to say, but Randy was shaking him too hard. His brain felt like it was turning to mush, bashing against the walls of his skull.

"Mr. Marsh! Stop it! What's wrong?" Kyle asked, snapping Randy out of it.

"No time boys! Come, quickly!" With that, Stan's clearly mentally ill father grabbed them both by the arm and proceeded to drag them to the Marsh's house. There, he shoved them down next to one another on the couch, next to Shelly, with himself and Sharon on the left, and Grampa to the right of the couch.

On the TV, the family watched as the news program started. "Welcome back. If you are just joining us and haven't heard, then you suck balls! … Fine, I'll recap. President Bush has been in a meeting with none other than Satan, the prince of darkness himself, all day, and they have just left the conference room. Let's go now to live feed from Washington, where Mr. Bush is making an ass out of himself. Sorry, a speech. He's making a speech."

The scene changes to Mr. Bush behind a podium with Satan to his right. "My fellow Americans, I… have just made a deal… with the Devil. We have agreed to cease all hostility with each other, and have pledged to help each other out, should war break out. This was an easy decision to make, seeing as it benefits us all. Thank you for your time."

The six people in the Marsh's living room stared open-mouthed at the TV screen as it does that lame thing with the high pitched whine and funny colored lines. Stan was the first to recover, and he was able to express the feelings of everyone in the room in three simple words.

"Holy shit, dude!"


	3. Kyle's Walk Down the Lane

AN: … Nothing.

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**The End**

Chapter 3: Kyle's Walk Down the Lane

Kyle was walking home, following the well worn path between his house and Stan's. He felt it would be best to go home after seeing that news report, or else his mother would probably have a fit. Who was he kidding, she would have a fit whether he was there or not. His immediate return would hopefully stem its thunderous tirade before it got too crazy though. Hopefully.

But Kyle was taking his time as he went; he had something to think about…

'What in the name of Moses happened back there? I almost kissed Stan! And he almost kissed me! What the fuck, dude! I mean, I'm not gay. It was just for, like, comfort, or something. I was vulnerable… And Stan took advantage of me!' "That bastard!" Kyle accidentally shouted that last part out.

He stopped in his tracks and sighed. "Stan's my best friend, he wouldn't do that! He cares about me, just like I care about him. We'd never hurt each other on purpose! But then why…? Oh man…" Kyle sighed again, and continued walking.

"Stan and I have been best friends since before pre-school. We met by accident, actually…" Kyle's eyes glossed over, and he started getting lost in his memory…

(FLASHBACK)

Little four year old Kyle Broflovski was walking along all by himself. He knew he shouldn't have been, his parents had warned him not to wander off on his own frequently, but his inquisitive nature quickly overred his parents' warning.

And he was in a brand new town, with all new things to see. His parents were unpacking, having just moved, and wouldn't notice him missing for a little while, so he was safely on his own until they did. And he loved it. Seeing all the houses, the stores, the trees; Kyle loved learning new things, and seeing new places. He wandered for what seemed like minutes, but was in reality hours, when he came upon the most beautiful thing he had ever seen…

A pond, with the sun setting behind it, which left the water sparkling, and everything else glowing gold. Kyle sat down on a log and just took it all in. He sat there for who knows how long, until the sun had nearly set. It was then he realized that he was hungry. And kind of cold. And alone. All alone, in the middle of somewhere new and unfamiliar to him. So he did the only thing he could. Little Kyle cried.

He pulled his knees up, put his face down, and cried. He cried until he felt something really nice. He didn't know what it was; it was strange, but in a good way. It almost felt like when his dad patted him on the head, or when his mom squeezed the living daylights out of him. But it was almost… Better. It made him stop crying.

Kyle lifted his head and turned it to the right, and saw a red puffball. He was confused; what is that puffball doing there? And then the puffball moved, and Kyle saw the puffball was on a hat, and the hat was on a boy, and the boy was… Grabbing him?

"Wha're you doin'?" Kyle asked the strange puffball boy.

"Wehw… You wew sad. So I hugged you, wike my mommy does me, when I'm sad. It makes me feel bettuh, so I thought that if I hugged you, you'd feew bettuh" The strange boy replied. Then he tilted his head. "Did it wok?"

Kyle sniffled. "Yeah… It did. Tank you."

And the strange boy broke into the largest grin Kyle had ever seen. "Yo'w wehwcome! I've nevuh seen you 'round hewe befowe."

"We just moved here. I'm Kyle."

"I'm Stanley. Nice to meechuu Kyle." Stanley said, grin still firmly plastered on his face.

"Nice to meet you too Stanl… Stanl… Stanl…" But for the life of him, Kyle just couldn't pronounce the name Stanley. So he settled for something easier. "Stan."

"Stan? Hmm…" Stanley thought about it for a second. "Stan. I like it! Stan!" And as he shouted his name, he did a funny superhero pose, causing Kyle to break out into giggles.

"You're silly, Stan."

"Am not!" Stan childishly replied.

"Are too! But I like it." Kyle said with an adorable smile.

"Oh… Wehw that's ok then; I'm siwwy!" Stan did a few more poses and jumps and funny things that were just totally silly, Kyle giggling away on the log.

Then Stan plopped down on the log next to Kyle, staring across the lake at the last slivers of the setting sun. "It's gettin' wate. We should probwy get home."

Kyle looked down, and mumbled something. "What?" Stan asked.

"I don't know where my house is…" Kyle said, sniffling again.

"That's ok, I'w hewp you find it! Come on!" Stan stood up, grabbed Kyle by his hand, and pulled the redhead up. The two boys walked off towards the town together, hand in hand, and were best friends from that moment on.

(END FLASHBACK)

"Stan was always so great." Kyle spoke. "But that doesn't necessarily mean we're gay for each other or anything."

Kyle stopped again and rubbed his eyes, headache coming on. "This is so stupid… I- I- I mean, what if we are? There's nothing really wrong with it, I guess…" Kyle started walking again.

"I mean, it would be weird… we've been best friends for so damn long, twelve freaking years. Wouldn't we have, like noticed something, before?"

The redheaded Jew sighed yet again as he reached his front door, having gotten really nowhere, in his opinion, on the subject of him and Stan. "What the hell am I gonna do? …And who the hell am I talking to!"

Kyle shook his head and opened his front door. He stepped in to hear a shriek of 'Buhbbie!' Kyle sighed again as Hurricane Sheila bore down upon him.

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AN: Next Chapter, Stan.


	4. Stanley Ponders and Kenny Wanders

AN: Thanks for the reviews Bloody Aussie! MaybeVADER … Did you call me your son, or did you misspell soon?:P Thanks for your review too!

Oh, and if anyone's wondering what the significance of the title is… It means that I don't have a title for this story yet! As soon and I find the perfect one, I'll fix it, but until then…

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**The End**

Chapter 4: Stanley Ponders and Kenny Wanders

"Dude…" Stan sighed as he fell backwards onto his bed. He was filled with confusion, not because of the news report of a few minutes ago, although the rest of his family was a little nervous. He knew Satan and Bush would probably get into some hijinx, but what could the two of them do that Satan and Saddam couldn't? And they had already defeated that threat, so what's the big deal... No, he was confused about what might have happened had his dad not interrupted him and Kyle before.

"We would have kissed. I would have kissed him, and he would have kissed me back… But why? We're not gay… Are we? I'm not! … Ugh, God dammit." Stan rolled over and buried his face into his pillow.

He groaned and moaned into his favorite headrest for three and one quarter minutes, before rolling himself off the bed and began pacing. "Alright Self, lets think about this rationally. Are we… Me… Ahem. Am I gay?" He asked himself, confusing himself with the pronouns.

"Lets see… I went out with Wendy for a while after liking her for so freaking long. After she dumped me for freaking Token, I was totally depressed and Butters of all frickin people shook me out of it. I've always thought Bebe was kinda hot, and a couple other girls as well… Any guys? I… don't think so. I mean, I've never let my eyes wander in the locker room or anything… I always get nervous in there a bit, for some reason… Why? ... UGH! Too complicated. How bout just Kyle…

"Kyle… We've been best friends for like twenty thousand years! Ever since that day I got lost and found my way to Stark's Pond and found him sitting there crying. I hugged him. Why did I do that? Seems so gay, thinking about it now… But it helped him, and we became best friends. I wouldn't give that up for anything. I love Kyle!" Stan stopped moving after this exclamation.

"I… Love Kyle? I do. But, in what way?" Stan sighed again and walked over to his desk. He picked up a picture frame that sat on it, and gazed into it. It was of him and Kyle at the beach two summers ago. He and Kyle had their arms over each other shoulders, grinning into the camera, while Cartman looked like he was trying to drown Kenny in the background. Stan couldn't help but smile, and he also couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to Kyle pale bare chest. He looked higher, at Kyle's cute freckles, his hair that looked so soft, and then at his eyes, green as emeralds, holding so much warmth and kindness. Stan could just get lost in those eyes…

Stan shook his head, snapping himself out of his funk. He looked down, noticing his jeans were feeling a little tight. "Aww dammit."

Then he smiled a small, secret smile as he shook his head lightly and breathed a swift breath out his nose in amusement. "I am totally gay for Kyle."

Kenny walked the streets of South Park after seeing the news report through a store window. He could care less, really. Satan wasn't all that bad a guy, just let himself get influenced too much sometimes. Like by that damn Saddam Hussein. But he's gone now, so who cares. Bush was a moron, there was no harm that could come of this.

He walked past Tom's Rhinoplasty, noticing it was closed. 'Hmh. Stan's mom must have gone home, what with the news thing.' Kenny thought to himself.

'Doubt anyone's at my house. Old Man's probably out drunk or getting laid, Mother's probably out scoring some dope or some shit, and Kevin. Fuck only knows where the hell he might be. And didn't I have a sister at some point.' He stopped by a light pole, pondering... Then shrugged and continued on his walk.

Kenny had told his friends that he was going home, but he had no intention of going to his place until long after the sun had set. There was no point. There was nothing to do, they had no TV, few working faucets, the walls were crumbling, beds were broken, tables missing legs, chairs without backs… And if Kenny's parents were home, they'd be in no mood to do anything with him; other then maybe beat him again or something. 'Home is worse then Hell… At lease there, you got what you deserved, what you should be getting, for ending up in that place. But someone's home… My home…'

Kenny sighed as his feet kept moving him forward. By now, he had walked clear out of town, and into the forest. Kenny liked it out here; it was so peaceful, so quiet, filled with all forms of animal life that never knew pain or strife like he did. He came to this place as much as he could without arousing suspicion. He pulled off his hood, something he'd never do in public, but here he felt no fear, no judgment. Here, he could be himself.

As he was walking, Kenny started hearing things, strange things not normally heard in this forest. He had no idea what that sound was, kind of like clacking and whispered voices, maybe. And it was coming from the direction he was walking in.

As he continued forward, the voices got louder, and he could see a faint red glow. The blond haired boy could almost hear what the voices were saying; they were coming from the clearing fifty feet ahead.

But the words Kenny heard didn't make much sense. "Soon." "Three dees." "Ten" "Oool it all." The blond crept forward slowly, hearing more strange words and word fragments, and as he finally got to the tree line of the clearing, he heard a big 'whoosh'.

The voices were gone, as was the red glow. He peeked from behind a tree and saw… Nothing. 'Weird… Pshh, probably some cult or something. Gingers have been growing in numbers lately... Whatever, who gives…' Kenny thought to himself as he kept walking. As he passed through the clearing, though, he got a really weird feeling, almost as if he was being watched. He turned in place, but of course saw nothing.

"Watch it, McKormick, you're startin to lose it…" Kenny said to himself as he kept walking, forgetting all about the abnormal stuff he thought he heard coming from the clearing which he himself created about eight years ago, destroying that future-telling device the boys had stolen from the girls…

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AN: Sooo sorry for the Kenny-angst! But it's necessary! I'll update soon, I've got big, happy plans for this story. No writer's block for me and this story:D (UPDATE: Lol at my own AN)

LD

_Oct. 25: I found the perfect title! Ch.5 soon to come!_

_LD_


	5. Dr Stotch, Weekdays at Seven

AN: Again, thanks for the reviews you two (although I would like to see more of them:D) And I agree, Bloody Aussie, Stan shouldn't get pissed because he loves Kyle, love is a great thing! Those stories bug me.

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**The End**

Chapter 5: Dr. Stotch, Weekdays at Seven

"Alright Broflovski, this is it. You can do this; Stan always says you're the smartest kid in school, now's the time to prove it! Let's think about this rationally; Stan and I almost kissed, I can't stop thinking about this, and now I'm not sure my own damn feelings anymore!" Kyle was sitting at his desk in his room.

After he had walked into the house, his mother had swarmed all over him. His father and little brother stood in the background, seeming relieved that she had moved onto a new victim.

When she had proceeded into the kitchen to make dinner, his brother went into the living room to play video games and his father went to his study to do some work, Kyle went upstairs to his room to continue his previous thoughts on Stan.

"Ok, let's go through each point one at a time. First, Stan and I almost kissed. Like I said, it could have been because I was just hurt and needed some form of comfort, and let it get a bit out of hand. It could have been that Stan and I like each other, and want to kiss… Or aliens or some kind of mind control could have taken our minds over, and tried to force us to kiss for their own sick pleasures… It could happen…

"Anyway, onto the second point; why I can't stop thinking about this. Could be because I have feelings for Stan. But it could also be because I'm just a bit disconcerted with what almost happened… Man, I don't know! Skrew it, next point, my own feelings…"

Kyle sighed and rubbed his eyes. Then he heard his mother calling. "Buhbbie! Come down here, it's time for dinner!"

So Kyle rose and trod downstairs to what would be yet another boring supper with his family.

After he was finished, Kyle asked his mother if he could be excused, he wanted to take a walk. "Alright buhbbie, but be back before dark!" she replied, almost ending up tongue-tied. He nodded his thanks to his mother and got up, trodding out the door without another word.

Kyle had no idea where to go, so he just let his feet take him wherever they wanted. He became so lost in thought, that when his name was called, he didn't hear it. It was only when the voice called it out a second time that it registered to the preoccupied young Jew, and he stopped and looked around.

He saw Butters sitting on his porch. He had a bit of a worried look on his face as he watched Kyle come up to him. "Y-y-you seem a bit preoccupied, K-Kyle. Anything I could he-help with?" the nervous boy asked.

Kyle sighed. "Thanks Butters, but I think my problem is a little way outta your league."

"W-w-well try me!" Butters said forcefully.

The red-head looked skeptical, but he was out of options; he just couldn't understand, no matter how logically he looked at it. But... Was this something he wanted to get out in the open? "Ok Butters, but you have to promise to keep this between us. At least for the time being."

"Well sure Kyle. No problem-o!" Butters had a huge grin on his face, and he gestured for Kyle to sit down on his front porch next to him. "Don't worry, my mom an' dad went out for dinner, they shouldn't be home for a long time. And no one ever comes to see me so we'll have total privacy!" He sounded far too happy to say something like that..

Kyle stared at the lonely blond for a moment before he sat by his new confidant, and started to spill his guts. "Ok Butters, here's the thing. Earlier this afternoon, Stan and I were walking home, and we got… close." Kyle stopped, his face tinged slightly red.

"…Close how? Like, when m-my dad finds out I lied or something and n-needs to grab me and-and-and ground me?" Butters asked, shivering at the thought.

"No, Butters, not like that… Like how your mom and dad get close… With each other..." Kyle tried to explain in a way the blond boy might understand. He didn't, just kept that confused look on his face, so Kyle continued. "When they're about to… You know… Kiss." The red-head finished with a large blush.

"Oh. So?" Poor, clueless Butters…

"So! We were about to kiss! Me! And Stan! " Kyle exclaimed, arms outstretched.

"I-I'm sorry, Kyle. I still don't see a problem." Butters told the boy sitting next to him, embarrassed look on his face for not understanding.

"How could you not! I mean, we're both boys! We should be kissing girls; it's what boys should do! Two boys can't have kids or get married, or anything couples should do!" Kyle was starting to get a bit hysterical, so Butters cut him off before he could continue.

"Kyle… Kyle! J-Just answer me one question. Do you care about Stan?"

"Of course!" Kyle answered without a second thought, nodding forcefully.

"How much?" Butters asked.

"What do you mean?" Kyle replied to the vague question.

Butters elaborated after a second's thought. "Well, what do you do whenever he's sick?"

"I go to his house to see if he's alright, maybe bring him some soup or something." Kyle told the blond.

"A-aren't you ever worried you'd catch what he has?" Butters questioned.

"Not really, Stan's health is more important, and if I can help in some way, I do. And if I get sick, I know he'd do the same for me, even when I make that exact same argument to him." Kyle said with a small smile on his face.

Butters sat in thought for a moment, before asking another question of the boy to his right. "What if Stan moved away?"

"Stan wouldn't do that!" Kyle half-shouted, alarmed.

"Maybe not Stan, but his mom an' dad. If they moved, he'd have to go with them."

"W-well he could move in with me!" Kyle said, looking nervous.

"Where? In your room? What would your mom say?" Butters continued on the offensive, eliciting a shudder from the red haired boy next to him at the thought of just what his mother would probably have to say.

"Th-then his uncle Jimbo's!" the Jew said, grabbing at straws.

"Jimbo couldn't take care of a teenager." Another possibility shot down, in such deadpan from Butters that Kyle honestly felt like a moron for suggesting it. But what else was there?

"W-well… He… I-I…" Kyle stuttered, at a complete loss. "He can't leave, he just can't!"

Butters decided to go in for the kill. "Why not Kyle?"

"B-because…" The red-head said, almost to tears. "Because I couldn't live without him!"

"Why not?" The finishing blow.

"Because… I love him." Kyle said, with a tear escaping his eye.

"Well then, t-to Hell with all that other stuff! Kiss Stan, and be happy with him!" Butters exclaimed with a big grin, patting the back of Kyle.

Kyle stared open-mounthed at his feet. Then he looked back up at Butters, a big smile on his now red and blotchy face. He sniffled, and as he did, thought of something else, which forced the smile off. "What if Stan doesn't love me back!"

Butters opened his mouth to answer, the look on his face clearly showing how stupid he thought that question was. Just then, before a sound was able to escape his mouth, a car pulled into the driveway.

"Butters!" His father called, getting out of the driver's seat. "Get inside, son, it's time for bed."

Butters glanced at Kyle apologetically, and got up, Kyle with him. "Y-yes dad. Bye Kyle, hope I could help."

"You did, a lot. Thanks Butters." Kyle said.

"Now, Butters!" The blond's father shouted as he forcibly pulled his son inside. Mrs. Stotch also proceeded inside and practically slammed the door in Kyle face.

The red-headed Jew sighed, shook his head and vowed to somehow repay the poor boy someday, as he started walking back to his own home. It wasn't right how his parents treated him, like some zombie, raised from the dead in some dark ritual. It wasn't right he was treated the way he was at school either.

But he had other things to deal with that took a higher priority at the moment, Butters he couldn't help tonight.

He had finally figured out his feelings towards Stan, now he had to figure out Stan's towards him!

Kyle had a long, sleepless night ahead of him…

* * *

And there you have it! Sorry for the delay – took a while for me to get the Butters scene the way I liked it. Still not PERFECT, so I may go edit it again someday, but you all deserve an update, so here she is!

LD


	6. Bus Stop Battles

AN: Happy Holidays everyone! Here's chapter six!

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**The End**

Chapter 6: Bus Stop Battles

Stan was nervous as he trudged through the snow to the bus stop the next morning. He didn't really know what to expect, now the he had figured out his feelings. He liked Kyle, a lot! But… Would that screw around with their friendship? Did Kyle maybe feel the same for him? How should he act around the Jewish boy now? These muddled thoughts he had put off the night before in lieu of sleep continued to plague him until his eyes landed upon the yellow sign of the bus stop. Or perhaps it was the beautiful redhead beneath it.

Kyle had barely slept that night, although he too had realized how deep his feelings towards his best friend are. But he had been worrying about other things, like Stan's feelings towards him. Could there be any? Should he act any differently towards Stanley, now that he knew he loved the raven-haired boy? What about Wendy, was there anything still there? They still spoke sometimes, and were friendly... And what the hell would Cartman do if he ever found out! So the dead-tired and worried-to-death Jew decided to head out to the bus stop earlier than normal, to avoid his mother, who would surely make a big deal out of his haggard appearance.

"Hey Kyle!" Stan shouted, deciding to just forget about his feelings toward his best friend for the time being. They have all the time in the world; they could work on it later. Right now, they needed all their collective energy to survive the day at hell. School, sorry… No wait, I was right the first time.

Kyle smiled slightly and waved half heartedly at Stan before closing his eyes and leaning his back against the sign post. Maybe he could get a few minutes of sleep right here…

"Kyle! Holy crap, what happened to you!" Stan cried as he rushed to his redheaded best friend's side. He had just noticed how terrible Kyle looked that morning, not having been able to clearly see his face until just that moment. So his immediate reaction was to run to his friend and try to help in any way possible. Is there supposed to be any other reaction?

"Hmm?" Kyle said as Stan ran up to him, opening only one eye. "Oh, its nothing Stan, just forget about it."

"Nothing! This isn't nothing, you look like the living dead, dude!" Stan shouted as Kyle closed his eye again.

This time Kyle opened both eyes and looked directly at Stan and deadpanned, "Thanks." Then he closed his eyes again.

"Guh… Ugh! You know what I mean! You look like you didn't sleep at all last night. Now I wanna know what's wrong." Stan insisted, firm look on his face as he stared at the face of his friend, pale with dark circles under his eyes.

Kyle sighed and didn't even bother opening his eyes. "Trust me, Stan. It's nothing you need to worry about. I just couldn't sleep last night. That's it! So stop with the worrying."

Stan too then sighed. "Fine, I'll drop it, but I can't help but worrying." He said as he moved to stand side by side with the redheaded Jew. He ran his hand through his hair, lamenting the loss of his old hat; his head was cold. It had been about two years now that the holes in the darn thing had ripped open so much it was more of a piece of swiss cheese with a poof ball than a hat. He couldn't bear to throw it out, so he gave it to Kyle to dispose of.

A smile graced Kyle's lips as he heard his friend's caring words, and as Stan settled in for the wait, the Jew couldn't help but feel a warm sense of… something, wash over him. It was wonderful, like he was wrapped in a cocoon, protected from all outside evils. "Well, well. If it isn't Faggity Andy and his boyfriend, Faggity Kyle!" Well, almost all evils.

"God dammit Cartman! First off, don't call us fags. Secondly, drop the Raggedy Andy crap. It was frickin years ago!" Stan shouted at their lard-ass friend as he calmly strolled up to them with Kenny at his side.

"Hey guys." The poor blond said clearly. He had his hood down, face red from the cold.

"Hey Kenny. Kyle didn't sleep much last night, so would you guys please keep it down and let him get a bit of shut eye before school. Something tells me we'll need it…" Stan said on Kyle's behalf.

Cartman couldn't help himself if he wanted to; it was just handed to him on a silver freaking platter. "What's wrong?" He asked Stan, sidling up to him with a wickedly evil smirk, "You keep him up all night playing gay Roshambo?"

"Cartman!" Stan shouted.

"Nice!" Kenny said, and then dissolved into laughter as the other two looked at him, Cartman with disgust, Stan with betrayal.

"Kenny!" They both exclaimed.

"How could you side with this fat fuck, Kenny?" Stan asked the blond.

"EY!"

Kenny answered him, "I didn't side with him. I think it'd be hot if you two got it on like that!" He finished with a shit-eating grin on his face, and an upward twitch of his eyebrows.

Stan looked back at Kyle, who by then had opened his eyes to look at Stan. Their eyes met, and both blushed, and quickly looked away.

"Eugh! Kenny! That's disgusting!" Cartman cried, his eyes tightly closed, his fists planted firmly over them as if he was trying to block out the mere image. But Kenny wasn't paying attention to him.

The blond had seen the look that passed between his two friends as he teased them, and he had to stop for a moment. He had been bugging them, and teasing them, and insinuating things at them for months now, ever since he had realized how they felt for each other, in the hopes that one day soon they'd get a clue themselves. What he had seen just now was beyond his wildest hopes. It seemed as if not one, but both had realized that they loved the other. But it seems as if they hadn't told them yet, either boy. Kenny got another giant grin on his face. It's finally time for phase two, and oh! It will be fun!

"Guys, bus." Kyle said to make sure no one missed the damn thing, one eye following the erratic driving pattern of the large yellow vehicle, the other resting once more. Kenny quickly put up and closed his hood.

Miss Crabtree had been even meaner since she had come back from the dead, and was prone to just leaving them standing there if they weren't fast enough. So they all piled onto the bus and stopped short for the third time in two days. Sitting in one of the front seats were Mr. Mackey and Nurse Gollum!

"What the hell's going on now! Why the hell are the two of you here?" Cartman asked.

"Well you see Eric, since most of the elementary teachers are gone to teach at the high school, the school board decided to merge the two, making it easier for everyone, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey replied, not having changed an iota.

"Aww God dammit!" Stan shouted. Then Kyle spoke up.

"Well, why are you both on the school bus?" Nurse Gollum replied to this.

"We carpool, but my car is in the shop, and Mr. Mackey's has been impounded."

"Impounded?" Stan asked.

"Yes, impounded, m'kay. Now would you kids go sit down, you're holding up the bus, and Principal Victoria still needs to be picked up, m'kay?"

"That's not how you do it, Mackey!" Miss Crabtree spoke up for the first time. "This is how you do it. **_SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!_**"

The boys, being so close to her as she screamed, were thrown all the way to the back of the bus and landed in a pile.

They pulled themselves up, grumbling all the way, and found seats: Cartman with Kenny and Stan with Kyle.

"Man, dude, what a bitch!" Stan told Kyle.

The redhead just mumbled, already half asleep already thanks to the warmth of the bus. Stan looked at him and smiled; glad his friend was getting the sleep he needed.

Stan started thinking to himself as the bus rolled along, and he wondered why it was Kyle couldn't sleep. He hoped it was nothing, like the boy had said, but Stan's gut told him it was something he should look into if it kept up. And Stan listened to his gut, it was usually right.

It was then that Stan noticed a weight on his shoulder. He looked to see what it was and smiled again. Kyle had fallen asleep, and his head had found its way to land on Stan's shoulder. But it looked a little uncomfortable for the redheaded boy, so Stan shifted over, closer to Kyle, so his neck wasn't in such a craned position. As Stan finally settled in for the long bus ride to school, he decided he would help Kyle with whatever it was that was keeping him from sleep… Later. He was enjoying this closeness right now.

On the other side of the aisle, Cartman's evil little eyes caught all that had transpired, and they shifted all throughout. At first, they were wide with shock and disgust, and then they became squinted with a calculating look, and finally ended up with a look of pure malice in them. Eric had come up with the perfect plan for his two faggot friends. Now all he needed was time, preparation, and some cunning, and Stan and Kyle would be exposed for the disgusting trash that they are…

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Oooh! What's that fat little bastard planning now? Tune in next chapter to see what I come up with, for not even I know at this point. But it will be EVIL! Muahahah! … Not too evil, don't worry. Anyway, I hope to get at least two more chapters out by the time my break is over (Jan 15th), so keep your fingers crossed, and reviews coming in, eh:D

LD


	7. Little Problems and Big Problems

A/N: Wow, sorry everybody. Life's complications totally impaired me from doing any more writing for the past few months. But I'm back now. :D

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**The End**

Chapter 7: Little Problems and Big Problems

The boys were sitting in Biology class, each lost in their own thoughts. Both Eric and Kenny planned and plotted to the best of their abilities, but for completely different reasons. Kenny wanted to do anything he could to get his two best friends together, as well as have as much fun with them as he could in the process.

But Eric wanted for nothing more than to destroy any chance at happiness for Faggity Andy and Jew-Boy. He'd seen what happened on the bus, when they'd all finally arrived at school. Jew-Boy woke up and got all red when he realized he fell asleep on his gaywad boyfriend. But all Faggity Andy did was smile at him, and ask if he felt better! It was disgusting! And Eric Cartman would do anything and everything in his power to end any and all future displays of disgustingness like that.

Now Stan was debating with himself, weighting the pros and cons of his feelings for his best friend, and what telling him would do to their friendship. On the one hand, he could tell Kyle that he loved him, and Kyle could say it back, and they could kiss and be together for the rest of their lives…

'Heh, if only.' Stan thought to himself. 'Could happen, maybe. Doubtful, but… Can't hurt to hope.' The next situation would be Stan telling Kyle, but Kyle not returning his feelings. That could end in one of two ways; Kyle could be cool with it, and things could go on as normal, if a little sad for Stan. Or Kyle could freak, and their friendship could be over forever…

That was one situation Stanley could not handle. He could take it if Kyle didn't feel for him as Stan felt for Kyle. He could even take it if things were kind of awkward for a few weeks after. But if he lost Kyle forever…

Stan sighed and dropped his head onto his arms, ignoring what Mrs. Garrison was saying about scissors. What did scissors have to do with the human body anyway?

Kyle's thoughts were filled with pink hippos and flying trains, for he was dreaming. He was in a field of flowers, with the aforementioned hippos and trains around, and he was just relaxing. Here, there was no worry, no stress, no 'what if's; just happiness and relaxation. When he looked up and saw Stan walking towards him, past Pinky the hippo, he felt nothing but love for the boy. Stan stood next to Kyle, smiled at him, and then leaned in. He grabbed Kyle's shoulder with one hand, but the other on the small of his back, and whispered his name. 'Kyle.' He leaned closer. 'Kyle.' Closer… "Kyle"

"Kyle!" The young Jew's eyes flew opened and he gasped. Above him stood Stan, one hand on his shoulder, yelling his name to wake him up. The other Stan was just a dream. Kyle started blushing, but he almost didn't have enough blood to tinge his face pink, considering where most of it was at the moment…

Stan was smiling down at Kyle, glad he was getting the sleep he needed. Plus he was totally cute when he blushed. 'Dear Lord, I'm turning all mushy!'

"C'mon Kyle, lunch!" He said, grabbing the Jew's upper arm and trying to pull him out of his seat.

But Kyle jerked his arm back, eyes wide and full of fear. He couldn't stand up now, or else Stan would see his 'little problem'. That would be just too damn embarrassing, even if there were supposed to be only best friends. "Uhh. That's okay Stan, you go on ahead. I'll be right there, okay?"

"You sure Kyle? Are you okay? I could stay with you if you want…" Stan offered his best friend, his hand back on the other boy's shoulder.

"No! Uh. Ahem. I mean I'm fine, I don't want you to be late to lunch too. Go on ahead; I'll catch up to you. Okay? And save me a seat." Kyle told Stan, fidgeting.

Stan, although still slightly worried, trusted Kyle, so he agreed and walked away to grab them both some lunch.

Kyle sighed with relief, and waited a few more minutes until he was pretty sure the entire school was in the cafeteria before he carefully stood, grabbed his books and proceeded to his locker. He put his books away, grabbed his secret box and went into the closest bathroom stall to take care of his problem.

He locked the door, sat on the toilet lid and opened it. He slid out a picture from underneath a suspiciously familiar red ball of fluff. His eyes locked on to Stan's slightly muscled bare chest, toned legs, beautiful face and soft black hair in the picture, ignoring the stupid Fatass drowning their blond friend in the background. He reached down and unzipped his pants, knowing he'd have to be quick but resolved to enjoy himself.

He finished tending to Little Kyle's needs, cleaned up as best he could, unlocked the door and –

"You know you could have asked me to help you." Kyle gasped, turned and saw none other than Kenny leaning on a sink, his hood down and a lecherous smile on his lips. "Or perhaps… Stan would have been a better candidate to help with that particular problem…" Kenny said with a wink.

Kyle, meanwhile, stood as still as a statue, face as redder than a stop sign. He opened his mouth to try and say something, to deny what Kenny was insinuating, but no words would escape is widely opened mouth.

"I'd close that mouth if I were you. Something horny might fly in if you're not careful." Kenny winked again as Kyle's mouth snapped shut with an audible click. Then the blond boy mockingly sighed, shrugging exaggeratedly. "If I were Stan I'm sure that mouth of yours would have stayed open… Ah well! Come on Kyle, we had better get to lunch before Eric eats the table and we have nowhere to sit."

As Kenny started walking out of the bathroom, Kyle finally found his voice. "K-Kenny! Stop! I… I'm not sure what you thing you heard, but…"

"But what? Don't try to cover it up Kyle; I know when people are jerkin' it. You can't tell me you moan Stan's name when you're taking a giant crap. Don't lie - you had a fun dream while nappin' in Bio, probably about ol' Stanypoo, and you came in to let off some steam. That's why you wouldn't get up with Stan in the room… You've got the hots for him, don't you?"

Kyle's mind was buzzing, he needed to say something and figured since Kenny was his friend, the truth would be ok. At least partially the truth. "Well. I. Uh... Y-yes, but..." He blushed, admitted it to Butters seemed safe, he knew he could trust the socially awkward one of his blond friends. It was the sex-crazed one staring at him now that proved a risk...

"But? Oh yes Stan does have a very nice butt, did it take you this long to notice?" Kenny teased. "I've known since you faceplanted into it. Couldn't help but notice, or stop staring for weeks." He licked his lips, eyes glazed. They only refocused when he felt a hand grab his shoulder and shove him backwards into the closed door.

"Don't talk about Stan that way!" Kyle shouted, nose to nose with Kenny.

An innocent look passed over the blond's face. "Whyever not? You think he's hot. I think he's studly. Why not chit chat, compare fantasies? Maybe even rope him into something together? Heheh-URK" He stopped mid chuckle, hand pressed firmly around his throat.

"How. Dare. You. What do you think Stan is, some piece of meat to just play with? He's not, and so help me if you even think of going near him again, I'll kick your ass from here to Cartman's house, steal his mini fridge and tell him you took it!" Kyle was nearly frothing at the mouth. How dare Kenny say such things?

"Well. Why is that Kyle? What if Stan-" He stopped short, hand pressing harder slightly.

"Don't even say his name with such a dirty connotation! He's a special, beautiful, wonderful person, who deserves someone who treats him with love and respect! I love him and if you ever touch him, I will end you." Kyle, sleep deprived and having been on a rather bumpy emotional roller coaster ride, couldn't censor himself. He just blurted out the first thing that entered his mind from his heart.

"So why are you telling me, and not him?" Kenny squeaked out, sly grin on his face still slightly contorted with pain. Kyle's mind cleared and he quickly stepped back, releasing his good friend. He stared into the blue eyes of the boy he nearly choked and Kyle was again speechless. He had been played. He didn't realize just how insightful Kenny could truly be. He was really good at keeping certain things to himself... "You love him."

The red haired boy stared at his friend for a minute before nodding, "… You're right. About everything… But what should I do! Should I tell him, should I not? I… its so complicated!" He turned around and started pacing back and forth.

Kenny just smiled at his Jewish friend and said two words before opening the bathroom door. "Tell him."

Kyle stood in the bathroom for a few more moments, staring at the hallway outside before coming to a decision. He walked out and Kenny let the door slowly shut behind him. He walked to a mirror and examined his neck. "Hope this doesn't bruise."

"Y-you should put this cream on it, i-it'll help make sure it doesn't show." Kenny looked past his reflection in the mirror to see a stall door open and Butters emerge, holding up a half-used tube of cream. He accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks Butters." He said, unscrewing the cap and applying some of it to his sore neck. He giggled a bit; it tingled, tickled in a way.

"You're a really good friend Kenny, but y-you should take care of yourself better too..." Butter said, returning to sit on the closed lid of the toilet and resume his lunch. "Walking around u-until three in the morning isn't good for your health y-you know."

Kenny's smile faded as he turned to face Butters, half glaring. "What do you care. And how do you know what I do at three AM?"

"I-insomnia means I d-don't sleep all that much, so I sit by my-my window and just look out. I've seen you a lot, walking by." Butters admitted, closing up his lunch and placing it in his school bag, along with the cream Kenny gingerly handed back.

The other blond stared at Butters for a few moments before turning back to the mirror. "So. The cream helps bruises not form?"

Butters nodded, "It sure as shoot won't show a hand print. Maybe a few little bruises w-where Kyle's hand pressed hardest."

Kenny smirked, staring at Butters in the mirror, fingers trailing across his throat. He started laughing to himself, Butters giving him a cute smile. Kenny turned around to face the other boy, sexy smirk on his face. "Thank you Leopold, for giving me a neck full of hickeys."

Butters' eyes widened at the implication, the boy turning a deep shade of red as his aqua eyes locked with the light blue of Kenny's.

While this was happening, Kyle made his way towards the cafeteria with a determined air about him; his left hand in his pocket, clutching his box with his Stan picture and poofball as if it was his last lifeline in a storm.

He reached the doors to the cafeteria and took one final calming breath. He reached out and was about to grab the doorknob when the door was wrenched open and Stan's frightened face flooded Kyle's vision. It took him a moment to register what Stan was saying, but when he did, his blood ran cold.

"Kyle! Thank God, you're okay! They're coming Kyle, Barbrady saw them coming. From the forest. Kyle we gotta go! They're coming to take over, and they're a lot stronger now. The Crab People are invading!"

* * *

Well there you have it, ladies and dudes. The end is nigh. Or is it? Now I won't pretend to assume any estimate of a date I will have the next chapter out by will be in any way accurate, so I won't even try. I'll write the next chappie as soon as I can though. So read, review and warn your friends, for the crab people cometh!

LD


	8. Escape from South Park

_Would you believe it, I'm continuing this story. :D Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Not mine._

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**The End**

Chapter 8: The Escape from South Park

Screams and shouts were all he could hear as he and Stan ran side by side through the corridors of the high school.

Mr. Mackey had run into the cafeteria and told the students that Barbrady had been attacked by a group of huge, humanoid crabs, and had barely gotten away in his squad car to tell the Mayor. She had then issued a city-wide evacuation notice, to head to the mountains and meet at the base of South Mountain.

So all the students were running around, gathering their friends and valuables from their lockers, and making their way to the exit. As the boys ran, they were joined by the majority of the other 11th graders, and were all running together. Kyle was amazed at this. Not really that they had grouped up together, but that Cartman was actually keeping up. Too bad he wouldn't shut up...

"Oh my god you guys... Crab People are back! How... did they get.. so big? I bet it was the Jews from Hollywood... They'd be the... only ones... sneaky enough... to... Hooo! This sucks!" Cartman was jiggling like jello as he ran next to a disgusted Craig, who promptly told him to shut up and keep running.

Kyle dared a sideways glance at Stan, who was red-faced and determinedly running at the head of the pack, leading them all to safety. His respect for his best friend grew at this sight, but had he known Stan's real motivation, his love for the boy would have grown even more.

Stan's mind was on one thing and one thing only at this time. Kyle. He was running next to him, keeping his eye open and alert for any danger, so he may protect his Kyle from the encroaching menace. And he was determined to do it at all costs...

The teens burst through the doors from the school, and stopped short. The entire town was in a panic, and off in the distance they could see smoke. It seemed to be coming from the residential part of town, closest to the forest. Most of the kids stopped for a moment to send a silent prayer that their families were alright. And one stuffed frog named Clyde, although he'd never admit it out loud...

"Come on." Stan said to his friends, leading the way towards the mountains to the south.

"Wait!" Kyle exclaimed, realizing something. "We'll need food and supplies. Lets raid the supermarket." Without even a moment's thought, he started off in that direction.

Stan ran after him, grabbing his arm to stop him. "Kyle no! Thats in the direction of the Crab People! Its too dangerous! Lets just get out of here!"

"Stan if we run into those mountains with no food or means to make fire, we're pretty much dead anyway! We're going to the supermarket!" He started off by himself, but soon enough the rest of the 11th graders were right behind him. Stan came up next to him.

"You're right Kyle. Like always." He smiled at the red-head, who returned it eagerly. He knew Stan would follow him, he always did. Superbest friends for life.

Right behind them, Cartman skoffed, then yelped in pain as Kenny elbowed the fat covering his ribs. "Ow! Kenny, why'd you do that!" The tub of lard exclaimed.

Kenny leveled a glare at his fat friend. "Because Eric, they don't need any comments from the chocolate covered peanut gallery. So keep your trap shut, why don't you?" He stalked off to talk to Clyde about something.

"Eugh.. Some people. Right Butters?" He turned to their meek classmate.

Butters jumped three whole feet from the sudden singling out. "Uuhh r-right Eric!" He replied, having no idea what he was agreeing too. Best he not even bother asking anyway.

Soon the group of teenagers had reached the abandoned supermarket. Upon seeing that it seemed deserted, Kyle came to the logical conclusion that it had already been looted and nothing of any help remained. "Shit, sorry guys... Looks like we're too late. Everyone must have taken everything good by now and gone..." He said dejectedly. He looked at Stan sadly, hoping not to see an 'I told you so' face on his best friend. He was surprised to see a look of amusement on the dark haired boy.

"Ky... This is South Park. City of idiots. Look inside, everything's still there! We're the first ones with this idea. YOU're the first with this idea." He flashed his jewish love a huge smile, and turned to his friends and classmates. "Ok guys everyone hurry, grab a big backpack, and stuff it with as much as you can carry. Bunch of food, water, tents, matches and junk. Whatever you think can help us survive in the mountains!"

They all dispersed to gather supplies, which for Tweek meant a pot, tons of water, some matched and a backpack full of coffee. Stan and Kyle shook their heads and started gathering their own supplies.

Within 10 minutes, half the store was packed in the kids' bags, and they were all together at the entrance, looking nervous. Outside it had gone rather quiet, but the smell of smoke permeated through the store...

"A-alright guys! Listen up. We're going to take it slow and easy as we start off, save our energy in case there are any Crabs around. If you see a Crab, yell it out and run! If someone takes off running, we all follow, understand?" Stan received a nod from every teen in the store, and opened the doors, walking slowly into the silent town...

"Th-th-this is creepy you guys..." Butters muttered. Kenny put a comforting hand on the other blond's arm, sharing a look. Nods from the others followed this statement as the kids all made their way past the dentist's office. There were no familiar screams of pain or high pitched drilling sounds coming from within...

"Almost like... we're the only ones in the town still alive." Bebe said, a quiver of fear in her voice.

"Shut up Bebe!" Stan said, a shiver running down his spine... What if...

"Don't tell me to shut up Stanley Marsh!" Bebe shouted, the sound ringing all around them through the silent town. Everyone stopped and stared at the blonde.

"Bebe... Shut the fuck up." Wendy grabbed her friend's arm and started dragging her away to the other side of the group. Stan and the boys could only shake their heads... Girls...

"Seriously, I'm sorry Bebe but we need to be qu-" Suddenly a clacking sound was heard from behind them. As one, the teenagers turned and the girls all screamed. A Crab was behind the group. But it wasn't small like the ones they had met who had attempted to take over last time. This one was about 8 feet tall, and seemed to be covered in a steel-like carapace, which hid huge muscles underneath. Six legs skittered across the ground as the creature started forward, huge pincers extended, beady eyes focused on the kids.

They were all stunned, unable to move as the giant creature bared down on them. It was nearly on top of them when suddenly a hummer crashed into it from the side, knocking it a good 100 yards away. The hummer somehow looked no worse for ware as it skidded to a stop near the kids.

"Staaaaan!"

"Dad! Uncle Jimbo! Ned! Awesome!" Stan ran towards them. Randy put his arms around his son for a brief moment, before pushing him away and grabbing his shoulders.

"Stan! Take your friends and run! To the mountains! Its the only safe place I can think of. The town is overrun, most of the people have already been taken prisoner or something. Jimbo, Ned and I aren't giving up, we've already helped some people get away from Crabs. We'll try and join you kids and the others at the mountains, but don't wait for us. Go! GO!" And with that Randy jumped back into the car and started driving as Jimbo and Ned fired their rifles at the enraged Crab they had knocked over.

The bullets didn't seem to do anything but piss the oversized crustacean off even more as it took off after the hummer.

Stan stared after his family for what could very well be the last time he saw them. Sure they were idiots.. But they were HIS idiot...

A warm hand found his, startling him out of his daze. He looked at the owner of the hand, and smiled slightly as he stared into the green eyes of his best friend.

"C'mon Stan. We gotta go. They'll be fine. They survived old people uprisings and Mecha-Streisand attacks before, they can take a few crabs!" Kyle pulled him by the hand to the rest of the kids, comforting smile on his face.

Stan nodded. "You're right Ky. As always. Alright! C'mon, my dad saved us this time, but he won't be able to if this happens again! We can't freeze up like that ever again, if you see one coming for us, run as fast as you can. Now lets move!" And he took off running, his hand still in Kyle's.

All the kids ran through town, sometimes seeing shadows or silhouettes of Crabs, but they didn't stop running until they had long cleared the town.

Stan came to a stop by a rock formation, putting down his bag and sitting. "Ok guys... Somehow, we made it... Take a break..." He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. The rest of the kids did the same, Cartman of course making the most fuss.

"What happens now?" Craig asked, not directing the question to anyone in specific.

Stan was the one who replied. "We stay here a bit. Gather our strength, and then take off to South Mountain. That's where everyone who got out of town should be."

"And who elected you leader, Stan?" Everyone turned to the source of the voice, watching as Eric opened a bag of Cheesy Poofs and started eating. "I mean, its not like you're Mayor or something. I think we should elect our supreme ruler."

"What are you talking about, Fat Ass?" Wendy countered. "Supreme ruler nothing. Stan just lead us out of town, and he was the only one to speak up. He's just saying what we're all thinking, I'm sure. South Mountain."

"Hey Ho, I will not follow someone who was not elected fairly by his peers!" Eric returned, having finished the bag, balled it up and tossed it aside.

"Fine! Lets vote then! All for Eric leading us?" Kyle shouted.

"Why thank you Kyle! I would accept being your supreme leader in this crisis time... Ey!" No one had their hand up. He glared at Butters, who squeaked and put his hand up. Cartman grinned at the rest of them smugly.

Kyle rolls his eyes. "Ok one for Cartman. Hand up for Stan." Everyone else raised their hands. "That settles it."

Stan just blushed at the attention and the devotion his classmates showed him, then stood straighter, determined to be a good leader. "Thanks you guys. And especially you Kyle." His red-haired friend smiled, blushing himself. "Ok, lets get back to it!" He picked his pack up, and put it back on.

Everyone else followed suit, a rather whiny "Hate you guys..." coming from Eric.

"Ok gang, lets...go..." Stan had turned around to face his friends, but as he did he got his first glimpse of the town since they had left...

Wreathed in red flames and black smoke, their quiet mountain town was almost unrecognizable... Buildings demoished, pincer marks everywhere...

The group of teenagers stood silently for a moment, staring at their town, now in ruins, wondering if they'd ever see their old peaceful home again...


	9. Onward

**The End**

Chapter 9: Onward

They walked for what must have been years, if Cartman's incessant bitching was anything to go by. In reality, hours passed as the 11th graders walked, passing through streams and up hills, they marched in the direction of South Mountain.

"Its a good thing we haven't run into any Crabs..." Stan mentioned to the group as the sun began to settle firmly into the horizon. Kyle shook his head.

"We haven't run into anyone else either." He looked to either side as he kept placing one foot in front of the other, as if hoping for someone to just march out of the shadows, crying 'Buhbbie!'.

Kyle almost jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, expecting warm brown eyes of his best friend, so he was surprised to find himself looking into the sky blue ones of their blond friend. He turned to see Stan on his other side, staring off into the distance, much as he had been moment before. Kyle turned back to Kenny, watching as a sly smirk graced the perv's face. He glared half-heartedly at him, before shaking his head. "Thanks Ken. And I don't think I said I was sorry about..." He motioned to the slight darkening of the blond's neck.

"Any time, Kyle. And don't worry about it, your choke is weak." Kenny removed his hand, but kept close to the Jew. While family wasn't his strongest area of worldly wisdom, Kenny McKormic knew friends very well, and he knew Stan had to lead the whole group of them. Meanwhile Kyle needed someone, and until their leader could step away from that role and be there for him, Kenny would fill in for him.

Kyle meanwhile stared at Kenny as they walked, really disconcerted with the picture of Kenny's home life he's painting from the blond's words. He knew Kenny's family wasn't the best, but they wouldn't... Would they? From behind them, sharp aqua eyes bore into the blond head in front of him, knowing exactly what Kenny was going through...

"We're going the wrong way, butt tard!" Eric shouted from the back of the pack of teenagers. Stan sighed and stopped, turning.

"Yes, we're going more west now. I recognize this place, this is where we found that Jackovasaur – if you hadn't noticed, it's getting dark, and I for one don't want to be out in the open once night falls." Much nodding followed from the group. Cartman scoffed, but no more complaints rose from him.

As the began to walk once more, Token couldn't help but mutter entirely too loudly for a subtle whisper, "Probably thought Stan's compass was thrown outta whack, since whenever he holds one, his mass and personal gravitational field throws it off!" Everyone laughed, and a lot of the tension they had all held melted away. Except of course Eric, who glared at the dark skinned lad until they reached the ice hole.

Shifts in the snow and ice had turned a vertical drop to a hole in the ground, into a slow sloping entrance to an ice cave.

"Are you sure this is safe, Stan?" Bebe asked as they walked inside, orange light from the setting sun giving off beautiful sparkles throughout the cave, making the edges of the walls seem almost razor sharp.

Stan put his hand on her shoulder, knowing she doesn't take this kind of stress well. "I'm sure it's far safer than sitting outside with no shelter or anything than the tents we grabbed. Don't worry Bebe." He smiled and continued to the back of the cave, about 100 yards deep.

The teens all collapsed together in a circle and just lay there, exhausted from their long day. Eventually, they each reached into a pack, and began to eat some of the food they had procured from the store. "Damn good idea going to that store first Kyle." Craig told him, munching on a stick of beef jerky. A chorus of agreement follows, causing the red haired boy to blush prettily and shrug.

"We can't gorge ourselves though. I know we're starving, at least I know I am. But we have to conserve food. Who knows how long we'll be out here..." Stan's wise words brought the mood crashing back down, but it was necessary. People were packing food away, Craig taking one last longing look at the rest of the jerky before stuffing it into his bag. Tweek made an audible squeek as he packed away his Coffee Crisp.

"Screw that, I'm hungry!" They all merely shook their heads as another bag of Cheezy Poofs was popped open. They knew for a fact that nothing on this planet, living or dead, past or future, God or Cthul'hu, could stop Eric Cartman from eating when he decided it was food time. But...

"Cartman, enough. You already had three bags since we stopped tonight, you'll live through the night with those three." Stan, eternal optimist and risk taker, leader of their group, had to try. He was not even given a response, merely a look of disdain from the fat boy as he scarfed down his fourth bag. Stan just turned away and began braking out his sleeping bag, taking time to alight a lantern so they could see now that the sun had set.

As he lay down, he looked around at his friends, most of whom he had known since he was just a few years old, now the only people in the world he was sure were alive.

Wendy, Red and Bebe were huddled together, calming the blonde as best they could. Wendy was always the girls' leader, a perfect match to Stan's role. Too similar for it to have ever worked out, even if he hadn't turned gay. Was he gay, did he ever get around to...? Aw who cares, he'll be known as Kyle-sexual for all he cared.

Token, Craig, Clyde and Tweek were pouring over a magazine, a quick glance showed it to be a video games one showing off the new Okama Game Tetrahedron, out next Christmas. Stan smiled, on the one hand he was amused by these boys' ability to just tune out the bad in the world and focus on their own selfish desires, even while camping out in a cave on the run from eight foot tall crab monsters. But on the other, he hoped they'd realize the severity of this situation before it was too late... Not too soon though, let them be happily oblivious for a while yet.

He spied Butters unfurling his Chinpokomon sleeping bag and settling in. He was off by himself, and Stan wished he wouldn't separate himself from the others, especially now. He had been a big part of their group as kids, and someone Stan was proud to say was a friend. If only he gathered more confidence in himself...

Kenny and Cartman were not too far from him, themselved buried in a magazine as well, giggling often. Porn. What else could it be. Stan honestly didn't know why he, Kyle and Kenny kept the tub of lard around after all these years and repeated attempts at murder and genocide, but Stan's gut didn't have an issue with the evil boy. And Stan's gut was always trusted.

Kyle was lying in his sleeping bag, literally an inch from where Stan had placed his on the floor of the cave. He was just silently staring up at his best friend, and as Stan's brown met Kyle's green, both boy's lost their breath. They stared for who knows how long, until Stan smiled down and lay out next to his best friend. "Okay Ky?"

Kyle just smiled back and nodded, he was fine so long as Stan was by his side.

"Goodnight everyone." Stan said as he shut off the large lantern. Each teenager replied in kind and settled down. Stan turned and whispered, "G'night Ky."

He received a sleepy, adorable, "Ni ni, Stan." Stan's eyes closed, warmth filling his entire body as he fell into an exhausted sleep right next to the boy he loved.

He most certainly didn't hear a sinister, "Nighty night, gayboys.", nor did he see the blue eyes glaring at the originator of that voice...


	10. The Difference A Day Makes

**The End**

Chapter 10: The Difference A Day Makes

The teens woke far too early for most concerned. The loudest was of course the fattest, but after all the years that the company had known Eric Cartman, tuning him out was second nature. So within an hour and a half, everything was packed, breakfast was had, and they began walking once more.

Kenny's eyes lit up as they fell on a few familiar markers in the area - he recognized this area... Moving quickly to the head of the pack to intercept Stan quickly. "Stan. We need a quick detour."

The dark-haired leader turned to his blond friend, confused. "What do you mean? We need to head to South Mountain as soon as possible and meet up with the other survivors."

Kenny opened his mouth, but staring into the warm chocolate coloured eyes of his close friend, he stopped short. Both knew what was almost said, but verbalizing the thought that this small group of teenagers might be all that had escaped...

The blond swallowed and tried again, "Stanley, I am aware of that fact, but right now we need all the help we can get to survive. I know where we are, and I have a bit of a... Stash of sorts, not far. Please."

With a barest moment of hesitation, Stan nodded. He rarely saw Kenny this serious, and when he was, it warranted complete trust. The small smile he received warmed him slightly, as he let Kenny take the lead.

Of course as they turned into a more eastwardly direction, Stan could physically feel a three-chinned mouth open to whine, and decided to cut it off. "Kenny knows of a stash of supplies not far from here, we're heading there before continuing to the mountains. It won't be long, so be patient and we'll get there soon enough."

Kyle smiles as Cartman shut his mouth and grumbled to himself. Stan was definitely the choice for leader, and he too trusted Kenny implicitly to do the best thing for all of them in a serious situation.

Looking back at all the others following, Kyle couldn't help but remember two good friends who were no longer here. Jimmy and Timmy had been recruited into some kind of disabled-only high school, which they said would help them better learn with their conditions. The boys didn't think it was necessary, Jimmy was one of the funniest, most popular kids in elementary, and Timmy grew to be quite wise, although he still hadn't learned more than four words.

Shaking himself out of it, his eyes passed over each teen one at a time; Wendy, Bebe, Red, Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Token and Butters were joining the four boys on what seemed to be their most dangerous adventure to date.

Suddenly the group stopped as Kenny moved around an old, gnarled tree. He stuck his hand inside and stopped. Turning to the others, he spoke to his three best friends. "Don't be mad."

"Why would we be... Kenny!" Stan shouted as his orange parka-clad friend pulled a pair of tonfa, a set of nun chucks, two sai and a bunch of shuriken from the hollowed out tree. "We thought that stuff had been stolen! It was you?"

Kenny knew Stan wasn't really angry, even though the disappearance of these weapons had caused some strife among the boys for a few hours. Still, he explained with a single look towards the back of their group.

Stan's eyes followed Kenny's sight line and he gasped slightly as he saw Butters shuddering slightly as he stared at the ninja stars. "Oh..."

He moved to put his hand on the small blond's shoulder, eliciting a startled jump from the boy. He stood firm however and look into the cool aqua eyes. "Butters. Are you going to be okay if we..." Stan looked back at the weapons of their childhood, then returned to his fragile friend.

Butters, for his part, was scared shitless. He couldn't fully remember what had happened after being hit in the eye with the sharp star, it was all a haze of pain and dog pee. But despite his own feelings, he knew with those giant crabs out there, they'd need every chance they could get to fend them off. He swallowed hard, squared his shoulders and nodded at Stan, staring him straight in the eye.

Stan was momentarily taken aback by the show of strength from Butters, he had no idea the boy was capable of this. But it gave him a great deal of pride and he nodded back, smiling.

He turned and sighed as he noticed Cartman twirling the sai around. "Cartman, be careful for fuck's sake."

"Don't tell me what to do with MY sai, Stan!" Eric leered greedily at Stan, feeling fulfilled that something he had written off as lost had been returned.

"Don't you think that those would be better suited for someone with a bit more speed and arm-reach? Like Token or Craig, even Butters or Red would do better with them than you, Carman." Kyle spoke out, his knowledge in video game logic seeming to shine.

Of course it was all lost on Cartman, "Screw them, Jew. These are mine, I paid for 'em! They should get their own weapons!"

Kyle and Cartman started glaring at each other, both opening their mouths to undoubtedly start a massive fight, before Clyde cut in. "Hey Kenny. You didn't happen to... Appropriate our weapons too, did you?"

A smirk and a wink was all they needed to know, as Kenny pulled out a katana, two kama, another set of nunchucks and a pair of eskrima.

Clyde took his sickle shaped weapons back, smiling to the others as they grabbed theirs. Looking at Jimmy's short, strong sticks left them all feeling the loss of their stuttering friend, until Wendy sighed loudly and grabbed them.

"I'll take these I suppose." She says, and quick as a flash, she points the tip of one right between Eric's eyes as his mouth opens. "Yes, girls can be ninjas, Fatass. Not that that really matters, but if only to shut you up before you start. So keep your trap... Shut." She uses the eskrima to close the fat mouth soundly.

Cartman glares, but returns to twirling his sai dangerously. The rest of the group shook their heads.

"Well," Stan spoke up, "This looks like a rather nice, secluded place to have lunch. No fire, so just grab something that doesn't need to be cooked and eat it quick."

The group ate quickly, and were soon moving out. Kenny waited until they had moved past a part of the undergrowth to stick his hand into the tree one last time and extract a razor blade covered in dried blood. He was about to slide it into a pocket of his parka when a voice interrupted him. "You should put that back."

Without a thought, Kenny extended his arm with a shuriken in hand towards the voice. Fate would dictate it to be pointed directly at same spot on Butters' face as the first time.

Butters gasped and stumbled backward, tripping over himself and ending up flat on his back.

Kenny rushed over to him, shuriken tucked safely in his pocket once more, and helped him up. "Oh my christ Butters, I'm so sorry! I wasn't... I didn't mean to..." He couldn't even finish, he felt so awful.

"I-i-i-its okay, r-r-really." The smaller blond swallowed and brushed Kenny's helping hand off of his arm, steady on his own again. "I-I just wanted to say you don't need to... You know." He motioned at the tree and Kenny.

The other blond sighed and pulled the hood of the parka over his head, but not shutting it. "I know. I shouldn't. But sometimes its... It just..." Kenny wished he had his parka over his face, it cut out his words enough that he didn't need to make sense around most people. He liked making sense when he could be heard.

But Butters understood completely. He just swallowed and nodded at the tree again. "H-how about this? If you put it back, I'll d-do the same?"

Kenny's head cracked as it turned to look into Butters' eyes. All he found in them was truth and understanding and it shook him to the core.

With a shuddering breath, Kenny reached back into his pocket and extracted the bloody blade. He hovered it over the hole in the tree for a moment, unable to open his fingers to let it drop. He stared at it until his vision was filled with the sight of another blade, so very similar to his own, right next to his. Kenny's whole body shook as he heard the metal thunk as it hit the inside of the tree, and without warning his own fingers unclenched, and another thunk rang out.

His hand still hung there as Kenny tried to comprehend what was happening, but soon it was closed in Butters' own. The other boy pulled Kenny forward, "Come o-on. Stan and the o-others will wo-worry if they see we're not there."

Kenny nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled forward for a moment, until his brain kicked back in. "Wait!" He shouted and ran back to the tree. Instead of reaching into the hole as last time, he moved aside a rock at its base and grabbed a pair of bottles from within. Kenny ran back and handed the unopened bottle of rum to Butters, keeping the half full one for himself.

Butters shook his head, but smiled slightly at the other blonde. Kenny merely grinned and put an arm around him. "Hey now Leo, it's a good excuse to Stan why we're lagging behind. Also, consider it a Thank You. I had been meaning to do that for a long while now, but never really got around to it. Just be sure if you're going to get smashed and vulnerable, make sure I'm there." He winked and squeezed Butters, who responded with a blush and a nod, before it registered what exactly he was nodding to.

"H-hey!"

Kenny laughed as they walked quickly to catch up to the rest of their group.

Stan berated them once they caught up, alcohol was no excuse to be that separated from the group. Kenny and Butters nodded and the lie was bought.

They kept moving as the sun peaked in the sky and began its path back down, making relatively good time.

Keeping an ear open for any crab-like noises, they found a small cave-like hole in one of the large hills, and since it was getting dark, it was decided to set up camp.

This time, Stan allowed a fire, knowing how cold it was likely to be without being fully enclosed, and thinking a belly full of warm food would do them all some good. Plus Tweek was about to start withdraws from lack of coffee.

Token and Cartman worked together to cook them all some nice hot soup and warm bread. Token seemed to be one of the few people who Cartman was semi-not-a-jackass to, so he didn't mind the help. After all, if anyone knew food... Token himself liked to spend time with his family's cook and had picked up a few things.

Soon they were all rolling out their sleeping bags and going to sleep in the small cavern. "Wait. Before we go to sleep, we need to start a rotation for lookouts. We're not as safe as we might have been last night, and we need someone looking out just in case something shows up."

"L-like what? You don't think a crab would make it all the way here do you?" Bebe whimpered, looking around fearfully.

"Who knows if they can move quickly over this kind of terrain or not. Or if they were the only thing that showed up from the forest yesterday. We need to be prepared." Yesterday? Had it only been that long? "Also, make sure we keep the fire going enough to keep us warm, and so we don't need to waste any matches lighting it in the morning. But not too high, or else whatever might be out there would have a beacon right to us..."

Everyone shuddered before someone spoke up. "I'll take first watch." Kyle said, startling Stan.

"Are you sure Kyle? I mean aren't you tired or anything?" Stan tried to reason with Kyle. He didn't want the red haired boy to have to do this if he was still not sleeping well.

"I'll be fine Stan. It's all really just keeping the fire stoked and my eyes peeled. Its not even like this little cave is big enough for me to be ten feet away from the rest of you. If anything happens, I'll wake you up, don't worry." Kyle reassured his brown eyed friend.

Stan nodded, lying down and closing his eyes along with the rest of the teenagers. "Fine. But wake me in an hour, I'll take second watch."

Kyle nodded as Kenny said he'd watch after Stan, and a few more spoke up. Cartman was volunteered by Kenny to go after him, much to their collective amusement. The fat boy mumbled, grumbled, ate a snack and was soon asleep.

The others soon followed and quickly Kyle found himself the lone conscious person in the camp. He sighed and stared into the fire, spending the whole hour thinking about Stan, and if he should make a move. After all, they were all in mortal peril. Tomorrow might be their last day alive!

These frightening thoughts plagued Kyle until he saw an hour had passed on his watch, and he moved to wake Stan.

Shaking the other boy, Stan's eyes opened immediately, "Smthing wrong Ky?"

The jewish boy shook his head, "No, just its your turn. If you want, I can take your shift..."

He was cut off by Stan. "Nuh..." After a yawn, "No way Kyle. You sleep, don't worry. I'll wake Ken in an hour and I'll be right back here, kay?"

Kyle nodded and yawned himself, snuggling into the sleeping bag. Stan watched as he fell asleep quickly, and turned to curl into Stan's own empty bag next to him.

With a smile, Stan started his shift as lookout. His hour passed quickly, as did Kenny's, before Eric was woken to keep watch.

After much mumbling and grumbling, Cartman was sitting at the low fire, poking it with a stick. He was contemplating a number of evil schemes, tossing a few more sticks on the fire. It was cold outside his sleeping bad.

He kept piling the wood on until it was rather high, but he was nice and warm. Grabbing a bag of Cheezy Poofs, he quickly scarfed it down and tossed it aside.

Propping his head on his bag, he sighed. It was boring keeping watch... Within minutes he was fast asleep.

A few hours later, Butters stumbled out of his sleeping bag at the edge of the cavern mouth. Still half asleep, and seeing the fire still going low, he moved to the edge of the light and started going to the bathroom.

Upon finishing, Butters sighed and zipped up, turning back toward camp. Suddenly from the bushes, a claw reached out and clamped around his wrist.

The entire mountainside must have woken up at the blond's scream of pain, none faster than Kenny and Stan. Before the latter had been able to extract himself from his sleeping bag, two shuriken zipped out at the crab. One hit a tree half a foot off the mark, but the second hit its target, planting itself right in the face of the crab.

The lucky shot under the shell loosened the claw around Butters' wrist, and he pulled the now-bleeding appendage back and quickly backed away from the monster.

Stan had managed to get out of the sleeping bag and pick up his tonfa, and he charged the crab. He was eternally grateful this crab was only three feet high, unlike the ten foot behemoths that had been rampaging through town.

A few strikes to the creature yielded little in effect, but it did cause the screeching creature to target him with its sharp and heavy claws. Stan did everything he could to deflect them as he backed away.

The crab fell on its side as its left legs were swept out from under it by an eskrima. Wendy hit the crab's shell covered side, who turned to slash a claw at her, which opened its other side to Stan who stuck it with both tonfa under its standing side.

The crab flipped over onto its back, and before it managed to right itself, Craig's katana stabbed it clean through the unprotected underbelly. The monster shrieked an unholy sound as it was pierced by the blade, but pushed the ground from under it with its claws, propelling itself up back onto it legs.

The sword was thrown into the undergrowth and the crab was back on the offensive. Craig backed away, now unarmed, and Red took his place. Armed with Cartman's sai, the girl struck out at the other eye as Stan and Wendy blocked a claw each.

Growling at them, the now blind crab still advanced, almost uncaring about the shuriken and sai implanted in its face, and sword wound to the stomach. Stan and Wendy did their best, and a few more shuriken tried to land into the flesh, but they were quickly pushed back towards the cavern.

Inside, Tweek, Bebe and Cartman watched wide eyed as their friends battled against the smaller crab, Kyle and Token standing at the defense of the other three, knowing that the smaller crab wasn't a big enough target for five people to attack without getting in each others way.

Stan was pushed far back as he felt his arms bruise behind his tonfa. Even one claw packed a huge punch, and it was hard to keep his sore arms up to protect himself, much less attack at this point. He looked behind him at the others, and he swallowed hard as he spied Kyle, nunchucks raised and ready to defend them should he need to.

Then he saw the still-lit fire and shouted out, "Cover me!"

Running towards the fire, he felt a cold bucket of water crash over him for the smallest instant as Kyle ran in and struck at the crab, filling his defensive position and letting Red get another swipe at it. But no time for such things now, as the black haired boy grabbed the biggest stick that was on fire still, and did a one-eighty.

"Red, back off!" The auburn haired girl turned to look at Stan as he said that, and received a closed claw to the shoulder for her lack of attention where it aught to be.

Stan was forced to jump over her prone body and with a loud battle cry, he shoved the burning hot stick right between the shuriken and sai in the creature's face.

This time, no sound was heard as the crab stood there for a moment. The longest moment in these children's lives. But after it passed, its legs gave way and the monster collapsed.

They stood transfixed, staring at it for a long while before it suddenly twitched and they all shrieked. Stan pushed the stick up and over, forcing the crab onto its back and he grabbed the sai that was knocked away as Red was hit. He stabbed the soft underside over and over until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He look up and saw through watery eyes that it was Kyle. Stan sniffed and sat back, shaking.

Kyle sat with him and put an arm over his shoulders as the dark haired boy wiped his eyes. Stan didn't even know when he had started crying, or why. Then he looked around.

Appearing from the undergrowth with his katana and a few shuriken, Craig quickly handed the stars back to Kenny before moving to the cavern.

Kenny was still crouched in front of Butters, who was crying and holding his mangled wrist. Kenny hand a shuriken still poised to throw as his eyes roamed the black forest surrounding them for signs of any more intruders.

Wendy had moved over to Red, who was sitting up and gingerly checking her shoulder. She winced as she touched it, but it seemed to be alright enough for having been punched by a crab claw. Wendy's arms were shaking from the beating they took trying her best to fend off the crab's attacks.

Inside the cave, Token still had his nunchucks poised but he was sitting with the others, shaking. Bebe was crying and Tweek was full out vibrating with fear.

Cartman just sat there, still as a boulder.

Kyle helped Stan to his feet, and led him over to the fire. There, he took a cloth and wet it, before proceeding to wipe Stan's face and arms. He was covered in the sticky black blood of the crab.

No one spoke as wounds were tended - Kenny bandaged the sliced up wrist of Butters while trying to make lewd jokes to try and break the shaking boy from his catatonia. Red put her arm in a sling, just to make sure she didn't make her shoulder wound worse. And a number of smaller nicks and bruises were bandaged and treated.

Before long, they all sat around the fire, looking up suddenly at any noise from the brush surrounding them. While there were no more attacks on their camp, no one slept any more that night.


	11. Not Him!

**The End**

Chapter 11: Not Him!

As the light of dawn weaved its way through the trees and bushes, the teens were already on the move. Kenny held Butters' gear as he walked next to the wounded boy. He would shudder occasionally, either from the pain in his wrist or the memory of the clawed creature that had caused it.

Kenny did his best to keep his mind off it, however. Crude jokes and silly innuendo flew from his mouth to no avail; poor Butters would humour him with a smile, but a vacant look would enter his eyes not long after. To Kenny though, the smile was something.

Red was being tended to by Wendy and Bebe, while her pack was relegated to being carried by Cartman. The tub of lard was none too pleased by this, but he kept his mouth shut.

While none could sleep that night, Stan asked a necessary question - who was supposed to be on guard? Butters, after much coaxing, told them he didn't really notice who was keeping watch when he went to the bathroom, but Kenny told them all it was Cartman.

Of course this lead to Eric shouting out it totally wasn't him, he was asleep at the time.

"I know." Kenny had shot back. "You were asleep, by the fire. Where the watcher needed to be to tend it. You fell asleep on duty!"

"N-nuh unh! I just shut my eyes 'cause the fire was too bright." The idiot replied.

"Too bright? The fire was supposed to be kept low so nothing saw it, dammit Cartman!" Stan shot out, mindful to keep his voice from reaching the loud level he wished it could, for fear of anything else that had seen the fire.

His piggy eyes went from one person to the other, looking for support, but found none. "D-didn't even wanna watch in the first place, Kenny made me..." He muttered to himself, heard by few. Kenny had, and guilt shot through him like an arrow to the chest.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Eric Cartman?" Stan asked, his voice hard as steel. Cartman merely mumbled something, but Stan would have none of it. "What was that?"

"I'm sorry, 'kay? Jeeze..."

"You nearly got all of us killed tonight. If it hadn't been for Butters, we would be." Stan put his hand on the blond's shoulder and squeezed, who blushed lightly and muttered something unintelligibly.

They discussed how the creature fought, how it had the hardened shell covering most of it, and how it took a huge deal of damage before succumbing to its injuries. It could even sense where there were after being blinded, a formidable foe. After discussing tactics, having a light breakfast and ensuring the wounded were all ready to travel, everyone set off towards the mountains once more.

At Stan's estimates, they should reach the mountains by mid-afternoon. After that was a large hike up and down, or through the smaller mountains until they reached the tallest, South Mountain.

Where hopefully the others from South Park were waiting...

"This is hopeless..." Clyde muttered as the kids from South Park continued to search for a way into the seemingly-impenetrable base of the South Mountain range.

"Shut up Clyde." Kyle replied. "We're here, and we all know there's a way into the caves. We aren't strong enough and we won't have enough food to make it up and down each mountain till we get to South Mountain. So shut up, and keep your eyes open."

"Why? He's right, it is freakin' hopeless. We're all going to die out here and there's nothing we can do. We might as well just sit here and die a comfortable, rested death." Craig said, setting his pack down and sliding down the trunk of a tree to rest at its base.

"No! We have to keep going! There is always hope as long as we're alive and we're together. We've done so much by sticking together - saved the town from Mecha Streisand, Gingers, our own Moms even!" Stan shouted. "Now get up Craig, we're going to find a way in soon, I'm sure."

"Pft, likely. I don't want to have anything to do with you guys anymore, all of that stuff was your faults to begin with." Craig replied, riling up the crowd.

Soon they were all arguing amongst each other, a cacophony of sound that was finally broken by the most unexpected and unwelcome sound.

"GWOAN!"

Everyone stopped dead, and Stan met eyes with Kyle, Eric and Kenny one after the other, fear filling him. "No..."

"GWOAN!"

"It... It can't be." Kyle said, "Can it?"

"GWOAN! I know you're out here MBP! Show yourself! GWOAN!"

Cartman hid his face in his chubby hands. "It is..."

"Its mother fucking Al Gore!" Kenny whispered loudly as the ex-vice president himself broke through a bush, swinging a medieval spear at it before tumbling backward and landing on his back in the middle of the kids.

"Oh! Hi boys. You should be careful. I've tracked Man Bear Pig to this area, he could be anywhere!" Al Gore clambered to his feet and turned around on the spot a few times, using the spear as a walking stick.

Stan sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Mr. Gore. What are you doing here? Its dangerous around here, there are Crab People all over."

"Haww that's what Man Bear Pig wants you to think! Come on kids, you are right on one thing – its not safe! Come on!" With that, Al Gore took off at a sprint, the pockets of his beige hunting vest jingling as he spun and danced confusedly around the trees and bushes.

The boys look at each other for a minute, "Do we… Do we follow him?"

"I dunno Kyle. I'd say what's the harm, but I think we all know good and well the harm that man is capable of… But we've got nowhere else to go for now so let's at least see what's up. Come on gang!" Stan led the kids, following the errant ex-politician through some dense underbrush, their previous argument put aside for now.

It took a good fifteen minutes, the kids having to help each other over and around fallen logs and thick brambles, before they were led to the opening in the face of one of the smaller mountains.

"How the hell did he do that all himself?" Kenny asked, winded from the rough terrain. He watched as Al Gore pushed forward into the mouth of the cave, and soon they all followed.

Stan rushed his group through the labyrinth of cave tunnels, scared they might lose the light of Al Gore's lantern and the glow-in-the-dark stickers stuck to his hat. They turned left, right, seemed to go back twice and even down a steep incline before finally ending up in a well-furnished room build into the root of this mountain.

"No way…" Kyle muttered, looking all around at the electricity-powered lights and monitors. There were couches, carpets, tables with chairs and surprisingly it made the boys really feel safe for the first time since this all began.

"Wow… Mr. Gore. What is all this?" Stan asked, putting his pack down next to the couch. Cartman immediately followed suit, putting the packs down and jumping onto the couch, moaning in pleasure, much to the disgust of those around him.

"Well you see boys, once MBP evaded me at the caves, I knew he'd likely return. He likes to revisit his past crimes, you see. So I knew that if I wanted to hunt him down and catch him, I'd need to have a base of operations out here. So I had this built. Now come on, we have to try and find where I went wrong this afternoon. Clearly you kids aren't MBP at all." Al Gore proceeded to sit at his computer screen and start typing.

Stan moved to stand behind him, sighing, "No, Mr. Gore. We're all exhausted, and Butters and Red are hurt. We just need-"

"Hurt!? My gosh, did you kids run into Man Bear Pig before I got there? Who's hurt, lemme see." Al Gore jumped out of the chair and grabbed a kit from under the table, running over to the couches where the rest of the kids were sitting.

Starting with Red, Al Gore examined her shoulder, touching it gingerly and rotating her arm. She winced, inciting a rage in Stan as he started toward them, but by the time he took two steps, the ex-vice president had declared it a slight bruise that would heal within a day and shot off toward Butters.

Kenny glared hatefully at the man who slowly and carefully undid the wrapping around the other blond's wrist. "Ishh this is bad, boys. Not an MPB bite but it could have been just as bad untreated. The bandaging was well done but it needs some medicine. Now don't worry, I got this."

Despite his bumbling and foolish attitude, Al Gore worked with great skill and care to clean, close and rebandage the claw slice around Butters' wrist. The boy shuddered, winced occasionally but sat there quiet the whole time, half leaning on Kenny. He watched the whole thing.

"T-thank you Mr. Al Gore sir. I-it feels l-loads better." Butters sniffled out once he was finished, having put a sling around his neck as the final touch to ensure the boy's swift recovery.

"Don't worry. I'm really good at fixing people up. Have to know these things when chasing Man Bear Pig." Al Gore nodded and got up, collecting all the stuff he had used and packing it back away into the kit.

"M-maybe… You could teach me a bit sometime?" Kenny looked at Butters, surprised to hear the meek boy ask for something so strongly.

"Why sure! I love to teach – can teach you kids to heal up wounds or defend yourselves! Can never be too prepared with MBP around…" Al Gore trailed off, returning to his computer and leaving the kids to their own devices.

Stan looked around at all of his oldest friends, meeting each of their tired eyes and nodding, "As much as we probably shouldn't, I think we need to stay here. At least for a day or two!" Stan raised his voice a few decibels, raising his hand as well to stop Cartman and Kenny's attempted protestation.

"I know, just as you do, just how risky that is. But at this point, the guy cannot be worse than running into a bunch of those crabs." Stan saw a collective shudder run through all twelve kids.

"Okay but as soon as we're ready, we head out. I heard this story too, what he did to you guys…" Craig said, this time clearly on the four boys' side.

The rest of the group sounded their agreement as Al Gore made his way back over to the sofa area.

"Well boys, we're outta luck. My MBP sensors are all outta whack. We won't be able to track him until I can fix it and it's getting late. Oh supper's ready by now too, so lets eat huh?" Half-crazed grin on his face, Al Gore turned and stalked off through one of the many doors littered around the room's walls.

The kids took a deep breath and they followed him, leaving the gear but taking their weapons with them. Can never be too careful when Al Gore is concerned…

But this time their fear was for naught – upon passing through the door, they found a large dinner hall with a huge, twenty seat table. White tablecloth, fine silver cutlery and china dishware covered it, and the kids watched with wide eyes as Al Gore appeared from a door at the back, having discarded his hunting gear for a chef's outfit, pulling a trolly filled with all sorts of delicious foods – slow cooked roast, stew, soup, rice, potatos!

The kids rushed over to help Al Gore set the food on the table, happily joining him for their first hot, home cooked meal since the invasion.

They talked nothing of the horrors they had faced since that day, instead they listened to Al Gore's tales of his MBP-searching exploits. Once the boys had let their guards down a bit and started believing he wouldn't trap them in this cave also, Stan and his friends warmed up a bit to the weird old man.

Once they had eaten their fill, they helped clean up the table despite Al Gore's protests and Cartman's muttered whining. Stan would never fully trust the guy, but he was determined to at least stay on his good side if he was feeding the kids.

"Well you kids look exhausted huh? Here, let's get you all into your rooms for the night." Al Gore sauntered off through another door from the main room. Inside was a hallway, each side with a door every few feet.

He went through the first one, showing the kids the two beds, night stand, desk and chair. "Each room is like this – I've got more than enough for you all to take your own room if you like. Or share. As you like. Bathrooms are the green doors in the middle of the hall, one on each side. G'nite boys!"

Al Gore smiled at them and left, returning to his computer as the kids grabbed their packs from the couches and picking rooms and/or roommates.

Cartman bunked alone, that was agreed upon by everyone. Kenny decided to stay with Butters, still clearly looking out for him after the attack. The girls each took a room alone, although Red assured Wendy, Stan and Craig separately that she'd be sure to get one of them if she started feeling worse. Craig and Clyde decided to be roommates, as did Token and Tweek. Stan and Kyle didn't even discuss the matter, they were sharing a room.

Butters fell asleep instantly, and Kenny stayed watching him for a while until he too fell asleep in his clothes. The rest of the kids decided to shower and change out of their grimy travel clothes.

Stan sat with the rest of the kids in the main room while Cartman and Wendy showered first, each in a separate bathroom of course! "Craig. About this afternoon.,,"

Craig sighed and shook his head, "Listen Stan, how long have we known each other? I've made it perfectly clear to you guys throughout the years that I'm your friend, we're all cool. Except when bullshit like this happens."

"Do you seriously think this was our fault, all this?" Kyle asked.

Craig sighed again, "I… Don't know. I didn't think we could blame a giant metal Barbara Steisand on you guys. I didn't think we could blame an uprising of soulless redheaded kids on you. Or an invasion of giant guinea pigs…" He said that last part with a very poignant glance to both boys as Red and Bebe went to take their showers.

Stan sighed and looked away, "Craig, that stuff…"

"We did that stuff."

"Kyle!" Stan shouted, confused at his best friend's admission.

"Stan, we kinda did. We didn't mean for it, we didn't plan for it and we weren't happy for it, but we were involved. Craig, we're sorry for everything that's happened, everything that's made your life hard. But the thing is, we DON'T intend for any of it, and we're always the ones working to fix it aren't we?"

When Craig didn't reply, Kyle looked to Stan with a small smile. Stan smiled back and nodded. "That's it Craig, we do create some problems, but we always do our best to fix them. We also work to fix problems that weren't created by us, like the War against Canada. Trust us when we say, we wish this wasn't happening. But you can also trust us when we say we're going to do whatever we can to get through this and maybe even fix it."

Craig just stared at Stan for a long while until he stood and went to get cleaned up alongside Token.

"I-I know you guys a-are good."

"Thanks Tweek." Kyle said.

"Yeah, don't let Craig bother you too much – some of that stuff was cool when we were kids! He's just got a stick up his butt." Clyde grinned.

"Heh thanks Clyde. We'll get through this, just gotta stick it out together." Stan smiled, proceeding to chit chat about a few of their more enjoyable childhood exploits with Clyde and Tweek before they too went to shower, leaving Stan alone with Kyle.

If he were less tired and able to be shy about his previously realized feelings toward his best friend, Kyle might not have leaned against Stan so easily. He might have even said something when Stan put his arm around his shoulder. But he didn't, and Stan was more than content at the show of affection from Kyle.

Neither boy spoke for the ten minutes or so it took for Clyde to come tell them it was their turn to shower, they just soaked up the support from the other they knew existed. Having been through so much, for so long, the two had a relationship that had attained the pinnacle of super best friend hood, and were able to take strength from the other, even when both were exhausted and half dead.

After showering and putting on a pair of sweats, the boys retired to their room. The only words spoken were a soft "G'nite Ky," followed quickly by "Night Stan." That night, they had the best night's sleep since before school started.


End file.
